Beyond White Wellness
Navigating the Intersection of Personal Development and Social Change
Key Takeaways:
The wellness industry, particularly personal and spiritual development spaces, lacks diversity and inclusion, perpetuating a one-sided, cookie-cutter experience.
White coaches and leaders in the wellness industry often engage in performative acts of solidarity without taking a clear stand.
Predominantly white spiritual spaces often overlook the experiences and perspectives of black people and people of color, leading to feelings of invisibility and the need to whitewash oneself.
The teachings of personal and spiritual development, popularized by white men, often fail to address the privilege they hold and the systemic oppression faced by marginalized communities.
Coaches, teachers, and mentors have a moral obligation to question their own biases, create inclusive spaces, and actively work towards social justice and the liberation of all people.
Introduction:
Dear Diary,
"Your silence will not protect you," Audre Lorde
In 2020, after the horrific murder of George Floyd, there seemed to be a wellspring of white professionals from various industries who wanted to open their hearts and minds to understanding the oppression Black Americans have faced for centuries. Black teachers, leaders, and coaches who centered their work around social justice, diversity, and inclusion had an uptick in white people interested in understanding their prejudice and unconscious bias and how it impacted black people and people of color in their workspaces, communities, and personal relationships.
It seemed like, for the first time, white Americans wanted to truly understand what it meant to be black in America. It felt like, for once, white Americans wanted to be a part of the conversation and also a part of the solution to healing racism in America. Though it was only scratching the service, things felt slightly hopeful. Personally, for once, I felt seen. I thought white America was finally getting it; even though 400 years of oppression wasn't something to "get," I could see a glimmer of hope. Change was on the horizon.
Or so we thought. Maybe naively???
I watched as so many industries attempted to embrace educating themselves around diversity and inclusion and worked on implementing change in the workplace. It felt like most industries were taking the necessary strides to heal years of workplace inequality. People were open to having uncomfortable conversations when it came to their unconscious biases and hidden prejudices.
Well, except for the wellness industry.
Side Note: When I speak of the "wellness industry," I mainly address the large fraction of the industry that focuses on personal and spiritual wellness and growth.
Don't get me wrong. Plenty of well-meaning white coaches posted and shared their support for black people. Many of these well-meaning white coaches posted black squares in solidarity with black lives. But we would soon learn that this public solidarity was a demonstration of virtue signaling.
Virtue Signaling: the public expression of opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one's good character or social conscience or the moral correctness of one's position on a particular issue.
Because at the end of the day, we know many of these coaches didn't want to do anything that would subsequently mess up their coin. Posting a black square is one thing, but taking a clear stand for Black Lives is another.
✨ We see this now with so many coaches, teachers, and leaders in the wellness industry staying silent on the genocide that is currently happening in Palestine. Most coaches I had followed have publicly gone about business as usual, selling their often overpriced programs.✨
And I get it; you have to make a living. I'm not knocking that, but what I am knocking on is the willful ignorance privilege can afford them.
While the world came together to march in the streets proclaiming "Black Lives Matter," the wellness space seemed to be reaching a different conclusion. A conclusion that still reverberates through the industry to this day.
Related Reading:
We Need to Talk about the Rise of White Supremacy in Yoga
Unpacking the Wellness Industry’s Whitewashing Problem
Implicit Bias in the Spiritual Community
When I started my spiritual and personal development journey, the promise of community was deeply enticing. I have craved community and a sense of belonging since I can remember. I wanted acceptance with people I felt truly got me, and in many ways, I have found this sense of community in spiritual and personal growth spaces.
If you've worked, participated, or attended a personal/spiritual development workshop, retreat, or masterclass, virtually or in person, you will notice most of these spaces are predominantly white.
You may find a few people of color sprinkled in here and there, but for the most part, we are obsolete. I often find myself giving a wink and smile to other participants of color, and they do the same. It's an unspoken code that reassures the other that we are seen and, if necessary, we have one another's back.
Sisterhood, brotherhood, and siblinghood have become the cornerstone of spiritual and personal development. If you look at any coaching program, workshop, retreat, or festival website, you'll find that community is touted as a necessity to heal. While community is indeed essential to one's healing journey, I have found it is even more important to be discerning about the community you choose to heal in, especially as a black person.
One of the most renowned festivals in the world, Burning Man, the Mecca for spiritual white folks, has radical inclusion as one of their first ten principles that shapes, molds, and guides the festival's ten-day festivities.
Yet the census taken at the festival in 2015 showed that 87% of the festival's attendees were white. When Larry Harvey, the festival's founder, was asked why there were so few black attendees, Larry said, "I don't think black folks like to camp as much as white folks." 🥴
What I have found in predominantly white spiritual spaces is white people bringing their whole selves to the space. They can bring the totality of who they are and be held in that totality by the community members. However, I have found that people of color are not afforded the same opportunities because we have to check our melanated experiences at the door.
I often felt I had to separate from parts of myself to be welcomed into the community. I felt I had to whitewash my appearance, voice, body language, and words to be considered one of them.
I wouldn't say that I have felt unsafe in mostly white spiritual spaces, but I will say that I had to shield myself from white people's unchecked unconscious bias.
🗂️ The Implicit Bias & Micro-aggression Files 🗂️
🗂️I once attended a yoga workshop in Park City, Utah, where a white teacher came up to me, just me, and told me she could see that I was "struggling" and maybe I should take an easier class next time." As I looked around the room, I found that everyone was sweating profusely and lying down, resting on their mats after a particularly challenging class. I politely smiled, as black women often do, and told her I appreciated her concern and assured her that I was not new to yoga; I had been practicing on and off for several years and thought I'd be fine. I stopped going after that class because I felt so embarrassed by her pointing me out as the only black woman in the class. I decided it wasn't worth the trouble.
🗂️I have had white women touch my hair without asking. A white woman asked me to show her my hair under my wig because she didn't believe I could fit all of my "curly" hair underneath it.
For your delight and enjoyment 😍
🗂️I have been tokenized.
Tokenism: a person who is a member of an oppressed group is used as the token of diversity at an institution or organization.
🗂️I have had white women yell and berate me in person and via email because they couldn’t join healing spaces intentionally created for people of color. They would tell me it was racist that such spaces existed.
🗂️I have been in spaces where people of color's voices were meant to be amplified, only to be drowned out by the white folks in the room.
🗂️I have felt unseen and virtually invisible to the white women at workshops or retreats I have attended.
All of these women I have come into contact with over the years in personal development spaces were "healing" and developing themselves spiritually. Yet, they were blissfully unaware of the harm they caused.
Wellness, especially in the coaching industry, is centered around affluent, wealthy white people's healing, well-being, and, more specifically, their comfort. White Wellness is centered around white people's experience of moving through this world. They don't consider, more like they don't have to consider, other individuals' experiences when it comes to race, ethnicity, or culture. It is a very one-sided, cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all experience.
This is why so many black people and people of color cultivate their own space for healing, one where they feel safe to be fully self-expressed and seen in our totality.
✨I have shared some melanated coaches & teacher's resources in the resources section below.
What I have learned throughout the years while studying and working in the personal/spiritual development world is that there isn't much space for my blackness or black experience.
And there is a reason for this.
The Whitewashing of Personal Development
If you dive deep into the personal development world, or even the mental health industry, you will find the "grandfathers'' of personal and spiritual development are primarily white men. They have taken concepts such as paradigm shifts, manifesting, and using your thoughts to create reality and popularized them through a white, heterosexual male lens.
And don't get it twisted. The concepts these men popularized were nothing new. They are concepts drawn from ancient wisdom that indigenous mystics have taught since the dawn of time. This is deep universal wisdom passed down from generation to generation. These white men took ancient wisdom, white-washed it, packaged it in the form of a white man in a suit, and sold it to other white men in suits.
Men such as:
Bob Proctor, author of "Change Your Paradigm, Change Your Life."
Napoleon Hill, author of "Think and Grow Rich."
Earl Nightingale, author of "The Strangest Secret."
Neville Godard, author of "Feeling in the Secret." (He was Barbadian-American)
They were teaching personal and spiritual development during a time when black and white people were segregated, black people couldn't vote, get loans, and were being killed in the street for demanding equal rights.
These teachers of personal development told others that if they wanted to achieve it, they had to change their thoughts and outlook on life, but never once did they mention the privilege they held as individuals because of the color of their skin. They already had a leg up in life based solely on being white and male.
While reading many of these books, and others like them, I couldn't help but think to myself, who were these books originally for? Who were they trying to educate? Who were they trying to inform? It couldn't possibly be people who looked like me.
To put it into context, when "Think and Grow Rich" was published in 1937, Jim Crow laws had expanded around the country. Schools, parks, businesses, sports, churches, hospitals, and many other areas of life were segregated. Blacks were also restricted from buying property in white sections of towns and cities. Many states throughout the country pass miscegenation laws, making it illegal for whites and persons of color to marry or cohabitate. Violence by the Ku Klux Klan and by lynch mobs prevented many blacks from protesting or resisting Jim Crow laws.
When reading books by renowned coaches from the past and present, I often find myself stopping and plugging in my experience as a black woman in America. A black woman whose lens comes from a deep understanding of oppression, whose ancestors were enslaved people, whose grandparents couldn't vote, and whose great-grandparents weren't even considered people.
There were black spiritual development teachers in the 1960s; one of the most popular was Reverend Ike. Reverend Ike applied the same concepts that Bob Proctor, Earl Nightingale, and Neville Goddard taught to black Americans. But while his white colleagues were praised for their concepts and teachings of living and manifesting an abundant life, Reverend Ike was often criticized for teaching black people how to do the same.
Who is Teaching the Teacher?
"When I dare to be powerful—to use my strength in the service of my vision—then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid," Audre Lorde
You will often see white teachers and leaders in the personal/spiritual development world who have primarily white audiences overlook how systems of oppression play a role in our everyday lives. They will covertly dismiss that systems of oppression are a reality. And I get it. Talking about systemic oppression and privilege isn't sexy, marketable, or necessarily something someone wants to hear while they're trying to heal. Still, I feel it is vital for white teachers, leaders, coaches, and mentors to hold that understanding when it comes to their students, clients, and audiences, whether they are people of color or white.
It is equally important for clients, students, and audience members to pay attention to who their teachers and mentors are learning from and who they surround themselves with.
Self-Inquiry for coaches, teachers, mentors, and students:
Do my workshops, retreats, and programs only have white folks in them?
When I attend festivals, retreats, or workshops, are the attendees a mixture of people, or are they just white?
Do my teachers and mentors mostly hang out with other white folks?
Do my teachers and mentors only learn from other white folks?
Are my teachers' and mentors' retreats, workshops, seminars, etc, only filled with white folks?
Are they naming their sources?
Are they naming their lineages if they teach Yoga or Tantra?
Are they working on healing their unconscious bias and hidden prejudices and encouraging their students to do the same?
What spiritual and personal development books am I reading? Who are they written by?
What are their politics? Do their core values align with mine?
I invite you to do this self-inquiry if you are white or a person of color. I invite you to do this self-inquiry if you are a coach, teacher, mentor, or even a client or a student. The answers will tell you a lot about your personal and spiritual development.
Why is this important?
Because if you're in the business of transformation and change, it should be for all people, not just those who look like you, and not just those who can pay for it.
We are living in a time where we need more heart-led leaders, and if you are holding space for others healing, if you are holding space for another's unfolding, if you are holding space for another's becoming, then you have a moral obligation to question how you're showing up when it comes to social justice and the liberation of all people.
Because whether you like it or not, the work you're doing is political.
As my dear colleague Sasha Ostara wrote the other day:
The body is political
Healing is political
Pleasure is political
Read that again.
You cannot be about “women’s empowerment and liberation, and healing through pleasure” if you don’t dare mention oppression and who the oppressors are.
Liberation and healing are acts of decolonization, and decolonizing is not pretty, it doesn’t stay in the status quo. It invites discomfort. Without discomfort there’s no liberation
Our liberation and freedom are tied to one another. If one of us isn't free, we're all not free.
🔗Resources:
Kerry Sutra - Sensuality Coach, Speaker, Author, Life Activist, Podcaster
Mina Aido - Somatic Healing 🌱Intimacy | Pleasure | Rest | Creativity | Trauma Resolution
Unapologetically Black Yoga - Tending to Black Joy & Pain▪️Embodied Freedom in Motion▪️Soul-full Yoga▪️Spirit Dance▪️Liberation Rituals
Black Women’s Yoga Collective - Increasing access to wellness for Black + brown folks
Afrosexology - We create spaces online & in real life for Black people to openly discuss sexual exploration and liberation.
Decolonizing Therapy - 🫀Psychologist, Teacher, Spiritualist, Paradigm Shifter
🤭Shits & Giggles:
😊 Shit that made me smile
🤓 Shit that made me learn
👂Shit that’s important
😎Shit that is cool
👀 Sneak Peak of Monday’s Newsletter :
“The Importance of Becoming Disillusioned” - Excerpt
The first time I became disillusioned, I was a young girl; an elder in the church told me my grandmother wouldn’t go to heaven because she went to church on Sunday instead of Saturday. I questioned his logic. If God was all-loving, and you worshiped this all-loving God, why would he care what day you went to church?
The second time I became disillusioned, I was 15. It was the first time I had questioned the existence of God. I didn’t understand why there was so much suffering in the world if there was this all-knowing, loving God. I pondered and pondered, and the more I pondered, I realized I didn’t believe in anything I had been taught over the last 15 years as a child.
The third time I became disillusioned, I was in my mid-twenties and decided once and for all that I didn’t believe in the God I was taught about throughout my youth and into my adulthood. The core of the teachings I had learned aligned with my human values, such as being kind to others not lying, cheating, or stealing, but outside of that core, I questioned everything. For an unconditional god, he sure was conditional, and so were most of the people who followed him or taught his teachings. I wanted the Jesus who hung out with prostitutes, the poor, and the destitute. Not this figure in the sky that could do no wrong while he made everyone’s life miserable, and I had to do what? Just sit there and take it. No, thank you.
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Monday’s newsletter is the “Welcome to the Shit Show” series. In these essays, we'll be diving into all things political, spiritual, and personal development. My goal here is pretty simple: I want you to discover something new or see a familiar topic in a whole new light.
Thursday's newsletter is all about "Shits and Giggles," where I spill my thoughts on a specific topic. Plus, I’ll be sharing awesome content from creators I adore and am learning a ton from.